10 Fresh Mindset Habits to Stop Living the Middle-Class Trap

Do you feel like you should be in the best period of your life, but you feel stuck?

You have done the hard yards, put in years of graft, commitment, and loyalty, yet you feel like your feet are either stuck or slowly sinking into the quicksand of life.

Yes, it sounds a bit dramatic. But many of us are there. We are at the old crossroads of life, myself included, and that’s how we feel. And I can tell you categorically that you are not alone.

Most people drift into a so-called “middle-class life”, a comfortable, ordinary life, without even realizing it. They have achieved so much, but something feels missing. Is this the midlife crisis we have been waiting for?

So, why do we feel this way?

I’m taking this blog a bit more personally and throwing in a bit more passion towards it. Why? Because I am in the sweet spot of being middle-aged. I’m fine with it, and I actually enjoy it. I drink too much, swear too much, and eat too much. But I love my life and my kids, and whilst I don’t have all the money in the world, I can pay my bills. Well, most of them anyway.

This blog is about me and anyone else in their 40s and 50s. I have recently asked myself many questions about where I am in life and what I would like to change in the second half of my journey.

We spend so much time trying to accumulate, move up the corporate or social ladder, and buy things to make our lives better and more comfortable.

We have a steady job, a tidy house, weekends of errands, and maybe a couple of holidays a year. We have worked hard, paid bills, bought things we were told we should have, and measure success by what sits in our driveway, hangs on the wall, or is folded in our wardrobe.

We spend these years with our heads down, slogging away, barely pausing for breath. Then, somewhere around middle age, we finally lift our heads and wonder, hang on, how did I get here? Is this what we really want?

It all feels perfectly acceptable. But often it comes with quiet frustration: a sense of being stuck, always waiting for “later” to live fully.

It feels normal.

Until one day, it doesn’t.

We have settled for routine, avoiding risk, and letting years slip by in a safe bubble. Don’t break what wasn’t broken, right?

Now, I want to fucking break shit and mix things up a bit, add some spice to my life.

Fuck, it is a mid-life crisis!

I often think about it as climbing a mountain. We keep trudging upwards, eyes glued to our feet, pushing on through the sweat and strain, always chasing that distant summit. We’re so focused on getting to the top that we barely glance around to take in the view along the way.

Then, finally, we reach the peak. We stand there, breathless and a bit battered, looking out over the vast landscape of our lives. And it hits us — what now? Was it all just about getting here? Should we simply plant a flag, take a photo, and start the weary climb back down?

Or is this the moment to pause properly, soak it all in, and think about where we actually want to go next? Maybe we realize there are other peaks we’d like to tackle, or perhaps it’s time to find a gentler path that lets us appreciate the journey itself. Because reaching the top is only part of it. Deciding how to make the most of the view and what comes after is where the real adventure begins.

It’s like the half-time whistle in a big match. The first half is done, and now’s our chance to catch our breath, take stock, and figure out what we want to do differently for the second half. Because this is the moment to tweak the game plan, shake things up, and set ourselves up for a better, more fulfilling run to the final whistle.

The problem isn’t being middle class. It’s slipping into the middle-class mindset trap. We have been chasing comfort, appearances, and short-term pleasures at the cost of freedom, time, and genuine wealth. I'm not speaking for everyone, but statistics say it does apply to the majority.

Look, we all love comfort, and who wants to give that away? But are we like crayfish, slowly simmering in the pot as it gets hotter, and before we know it, it's too hot and too late to escape?

If you want to build a life that’s richer in every sense, I am throwing out 10 fresh mindset habits to help you break out.

1. Question autopilot choices

Are you living on autopilot, just accepting each day as it is and not taking the time to honestly evaluate and challenge where you are?

Life is to be lived, not just ridden along, giving the bare minimum until it ends. Most people drift through life following an invisible script. It is a script we feel like we are all given at birth, and we must all follow the same storyline, like a book on a production line.

Just follow the script, and you will be fine. But it fails to take into account that we are all so different, with different values, backgrounds, attributes, and unique characteristics.

So what does the script say?

You go to school and university because it’s expected, take a corporate job because that’s what people do, buy a house because it’s the “next step,” and fill your weekends with the same catch-ups, errands and social obligations as everyone else. But living by default often leads to a sense of quiet frustration, as if you’re stuck in a play someone else wrote.

So, what would your script say if you got to write it?

It's time to pause, evaluate and start paying attention to your decisions to see if they align with your script. Why do you work the hours you do? Why do you live where you live? Why do you keep saying yes to things that drain you and leave you feeling frustrated and unfulfilled?

The goal isn’t to change everything overnight, but to become more conscious and to make small changes towards your true north.

Maybe you love your neighborhood but realize your social calendar is full of obligations, not genuine connections. Maybe your job pays well, but it offers no growth or meaning.
By simply asking, “Is this what I truly want, or am I just copying others?” you reclaim the power to shape your own life.

Small shifts, like how you spend your evenings or who you spend time with, can lead to bigger changes. The key is breaking out of autopilot so your life is built by choice, not by habit.

2. Don’t get stuck in a job by default

It’s surprisingly easy to wake up one day and realize you’ve spent 15, 20, or even 30 years in a role you never planned to stay in. I can put my hand on my heart and say I have done this. Hence, this new writing journey!

We learnt a skill when we were young, got better at it, and it continued to pay more and give us more things. So we stuck at it because the option of changing tack or starting again was too risky, especially financially.

So we stuck to what we knew, in the disguise of ‘a loyal employee’.

Don’t get me wrong - a steady job is comforting. It pays the bills, offers routine, and earns approval from family and friends.

It lets us live the life we have, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Look, we have all done it, and no one is going to shitcan you for it. It is the sensible route to take. The one that ensures we have a roof over our heads, food on a plate, a drink or two and happy kids. There is no shame in this at all.

But comfort can quietly become a trap. Staying in a job purely because it’s familiar often means you’re not stretching your skills or pursuing what excites you.

It’s time to see your job for what it is: a tool to build your life, not the center of your life.

I watched a documentary last night, and it stated a startling fact: We spend more time at work and with colleagues than we do with our own families. We spend more awake hours at work than at leisure.

Shit, that was an eye opener for me. It got me thinking, if what I am spending most of my day doing, bringing my pleasure or am I dragging my feet until knock-off time?

We need to regularly ask ourselves, “Am I growing here, or just clocking in for a pay cheque?” If your role feels stale, it is time to start exploring. This doesn’t mean throwing in the towel and giving the boss the middle finger, but just seeing what options exist, either as a new career, a side hustle, or a passion.

Speak to people in other fields, attend industry events, or test freelance work on the side. Keep learning, even if it’s through short courses, side projects, or volunteering in a different sector. Even just spend more time on passions.

I only started writing books and blogs in the last year because it's my passion.

I am learning as I go. I am pretty shit at learning about marketing, but I love the challenge. Most activities we do are because it’s a challenge. It could be running a marathon, learning to cook, or even doing a jigsaw puzzle. We love challenges because they make us feel like we are growing, and more importantly, they make us feel more alive.

Even small changes can reignite your sense of possibility and relight a passion. Don’t let fear of the unknown keep you locked into the known. A career that fits you evolves over time, but only if you keep steering it. Otherwise, you risk reaching retirement, realizing you built your entire life around a job that never lit you up.

3. Drop the fear of calculated risks

Middle-class culture often teaches us to prize security above all else. It's about having a permanent job, a stable house, and predictable days.

But ironically, playing it “safe” all the time can be the most dangerous choice because it stops you from growing and adapting. You feel like your foundations are so strongly entrenched that there is no room to move elsewhere, even to simply explore other options.

I want you to think about this as brutally honestly as you can. Are you playing life too safe? What risks would you take? Can you take risks while still having a safety blanket?

This is what is called a calculated risk.

Calculated risks are different from reckless gambles. It’s not getting you to throw in your job today without a thought for tomorrow or putting all your chips on the casino table.

Thoughtful decisions are those that stretch your comfort zone and build resilience. This could mean investing a small amount in shares or a side business, saying yes to a role you’re not 100% ready for, or moving to a new city for better opportunities.

Start practicing on a small scale. You don’t paddle across an ocean without first going for a few test runs around a lake!

Test new ideas in your spare time. Save a financial buffer so you can take bolder steps later. Each risk, even a tiny one, strengthens your confidence in navigating uncertainty.

Trust me, by starting to write it has opened my eyes and passion. It has given me a new purpose and lease on life. Look, it doesn’t give me any financial reward to date, and I am fine with that. I am learning, and I know it is a journey. Fuck, even if it never pays, it is like a hobby.

We all have hobbies—something we love doing, and we don’t do it for financial gain, but because we love it. It's the same deal. You may play golf because it's your hobby, not to win a million dollars!

Over time, you’ll realize that uncertainty isn’t always something to fear. Start to realize that it is where many of life’s best experiences live.

If you always choose the safe, known option, your world gradually shrinks. And the “what ifs"’ become stronger. By making space for smart risks, you keep life expansive and interesting. It keeps more options on the table and lets you enjoy things that you find interesting, and allows you to continue to grow.

Ultimately, the biggest risk is to look back decades from now and wish you’d been braver when it mattered.

4. Life is too short to live the mundane

We only get one crack at this life, so we really do need to squeeze the most out of it.

Like in any aspect of life, if you simply wait for new, exciting challenges, activities, or opportunities to fall into your lap, you will be waiting for a long time. You have to actively seek them.

Beyond simply dropping fear, actively build your appetite for taking on new challenges. Your comfort zone is a nice place because it feels secure, you know what to expect, and there’s little chance of embarrassment or failure. But nothing ever grows there. Nothing new develops. You stay the same with the same experiences.

Start pushing your boundaries intentionally and preferably immediately!

Start a new side hustle, learn a new sport, or enrol in a course that intimidates you. Book a trip to a new destination or try a public speaking class.

These don’t have to be grand, life-changing actions, but they can open your mind and your life to new experiences and make you more comfortable with change and new ways of thinking. You start to see what truly is possible.

Each time you stretch yourself, you build psychological muscle. You prove to yourself that you can survive discomfort and even thrive on the other side of it. Over time, your threshold for uncertainty expands. It’s the same when we try anything new; once we keep repeating it, it becomes more comfortable, and we gain confidence to not only try again but to reach further into the unknown. Now, that is what life should be about!

What once seemed terrifying will start to feel manageable.

The world tends to reward people willing to step into the unknown. Most successful people have taken risks and sailed away from the shores of comfort to see what was out there. These bold steps, which many people simply don’t take, put them ahead of others and make them different.

Opportunities often hide behind a bit of fear. A life that’s rich in experiences and personal growth is rarely built by staying safe, so start to push beyond what’s easy.

5. Stop living just for weekends

As I mentioned before, we spend most of our week at work, so it is sad if we simply get through the week to live for the weekends.

So many people operate on a weekly countdown. Tolerating five days of work, household chores, and early bedtimes, all for two days of fleeting freedom. But if your whole life is structured this way, you’re effectively living only about a quarter of your time. When it is put in this bare manner, it is quite startling.

It’s time to make a change to how we live the majority of the week, the weekdays, and to see what changes we can make.

It can start by seeing how you can add small pleasures and growth into your weekdays. Wake up early to read or exercise. Meet a friend for a midweek coffee. Use your lunch break for a walk in nature or a podcast that inspires you. Start a hobby you chip away at each evening.

You don’t have to overhaul your entire routine overnight. Look for tiny tweaks that add joy or meaning. Over time, your days stop feeling like something to endure and start feeling like part of a life well-lived.

Living for the weekend also puts enormous pressure on those two days to be perfect. The problem that I have, and I’m sure that many people do, is that we are actually tired on these days and want to relax. So we miss out on doing things we should actively be doing, as we want to enjoy a well-earned rest.

By spreading out your enjoyment and self-care, you reduce that stress and make life feel more balanced. Don’t let two-sevenths of your time be your only highlight. Build a weekday life that’s satisfying too, so you’re not always waiting for Friday to start truly living.

6. Protect your health and energy

In the typical middle-class rush, health often becomes collateral damage. You skip sleep to meet deadlines, grab fast food between errands, or drop exercise because you’re “too busy.” You drink too much to take the edge off and reward yourself for a hard day's work.

It’s seen as normal and even admirable to sacrifice your well-being for work or family. But over time, this quietly erodes the quality of your life.

Not only that, our bodies aren’t in the same youthful state they once were in, with more wear and tear in every bone and muscle.

Protect your energy like a valuable asset. I’m not saying this as a catch phrase. It really is the most important asset you have. You can’t do much if you are too sick to walk, or die too early due to neglecting your health. Sure, you can’t control every aspect of your health and diseases that may unfortunately come your way, but you do have some say in how healthy you want to live your life. It's like your car. Over time, it will break down as more miles are added, and you may have an accident, but with some preventative maintenance, it can last longer. The same applies to us – just add some preventative maintenance to your most important asset.

I'm not asking you to do a 3000-mile run, but there are simple changes we can incorporate into our lives. This can include prioritizing good sleep, not just on weekends but consistently. Move your body daily, even if it’s a walk or stretching at home. Choose food that nourishes, not just fills. Schedule breaks from screens and give yourself guilt-free downtime.

Physical health is deeply tied to mental and emotional health. When you’re rested, active, and well-fed, you’re far better equipped to tackle challenges, seize opportunities, and show up for loved ones.

You have to think long-term. A strong, energized body gives you decades more time to pursue dreams, travel, and enjoy life. Don’t burn yourself out chasing middle-class symbols of success like promotions, cars, or bigger homes at the expense of the very health that lets you enjoy them. True wealth always includes vitality.

7. Be wary of debt as “normal”

Let’s be honest, most of us have debt. We aren’t all from backgrounds of wealth, and whilst we may be good savers, to buy the big ticket items like a house or a car, or to pay kid’s education requires some element of debt. Trust me, I’m in the boat!

Debt is a common partner of modern middle-class life. Credit cards, car finance, personal loans and mortgage top-ups are marketed as perfectly normal and even smart ways to live. Yes, debt is normal if we can manage it. But normal doesn’t mean harmless.

Every debt repayment limits your options. It ties up your income, which could otherwise fund experiences, investments, or a career change. It also adds background stress, even if you don’t always notice it.

Start treating debt like a sharp knife instead of a rich friend who is happy to loan you money. Debt is useful when handled carefully, but dangerous when waved around carelessly.

Use it strategically for investments that can grow your future, like well-considered education or a reasonably priced home. Avoid using debt to fund lifestyle inflation, like luxury holidays or gadgets bought on instalments, just because everyone else is doing it.

Paying off debts gives you breathing room. It means you can take time off, switch to part-time to raise kids or start a business without being strangled by fixed costs. In the end, being cautious with debt is less about living small and more about giving yourself the space to live big when opportunities come along.

8. Prioritize freedom over stuff

The usual middle-class narrative goes like this: Earn more so you can buy bigger homes, sleeker cars, and flashier gadgets.

Simply, accumulating more “stuff.”

However, all those purchases have hidden costs, including bigger mortgages, higher maintenance, and longer work hours needed to fund them.

It's time to get off this flightpath and flip the story. See increased income as a way to buy your freedom. That might mean working four days a week, saving aggressively to retire early, or having the buffer to leave a toxic job. A modest house with low costs can enable a rich life of travel, hobbies or entrepreneurial experiments.

We see many people start to simplify their lives when they hit middle age. I think of it like cleaning out your closet. There is normally a lot of shit in there you don’t know you have, and like subscriptions, a lot of things you are simply wasting money on without you even knowing it. Also, you are left with a nice clean cupboard, which makes things feel more manageable, and you are proud of yourself!

When you prioritize freedom and simplify things, you spend less time cleaning, maintaining and worrying about your possessions, and more time actually living. It’s about crafting a life with fewer obligations and more choices.

The trick is not to fill the cupboards again with random stuff; otherwise, you are back on the same merry-go-round. Ask yourself before big purchases: Will this give me more life, or just more stuff?

Often, choosing the simpler option frees up money and time for experiences that make you feel truly alive. Freedom is the ultimate luxury that outshines any car in the driveway or designer label in the wardrobe.

9. Prioritize experiences over possessions

This habit continues from the last one, as it is that important. In the last habit, we looked at trying to reduce unnecessary buying as a general concept. In this habit, we are looking at how to prioritize what we spend our money on when we make purchases.

It’s tempting to buy things for the instant buzz they give. A new phone, fancy shoes, or the latest kitchen gadget can make you feel good for a week, but then it becomes just another item in your house. Experiences, on the other hand, shape who you are and stay with you for life.

Spend on travel, even if it’s close to home. Try courses that teach you something new, from pottery to paddle boarding. Host dinners with friends or surprise your partner with a weekend away.

It's time to prioritize memories over stuff.

Memories grow richer over time, unlike objects, which usually fade into the background. Experiences also deepen relationships. Shared adventures give you stories to laugh about years later, which are far more satisfying than comparing purchases.

Shift your spending gradually. Next time you’re tempted by a pricey item, ask yourself if that money could instead fund an experience. Chances are, a cooking class with your kids or a road trip with friends will bring you far more joy than yet another gadget gathering dust. In the long run, a life full of rich stories beats one stuffed with things.

10. Think long-term about your life story

If all goes well, you are halfway through your game of life. So, as we have said, now is the time to stop and think about how we want to play the second half.

It’s incredibly easy to get stuck managing day-to-day life, including paying bills, getting through work, and keeping up with social commitments.

But step back and ask: What kind of story am I writing with my years?

Imagine yourself a decade or two from now. What do you want your days to look like? Who do you want around you? What do you want to be proud of?

Now is the time to tweak your script. It doesn’t need to be big changes, but mere improvements.

Start making choices today that lead towards the vision of what you want your second half to look like. It might mean saving consistently, even small amounts, so future you isn’t trapped by money. It could mean saying yes to an opportunity that scares you or learning a skill that keeps doors open.

Or it might simply involve nurturing relationships and health so that decades from now, you will have the people and vitality to enjoy your life.

If you don’t plan your future, it will get written by default, often following the same middle-class script of more work, more stuff, and less freedom.

Make the choice before it is made for you. At least have a say in the key decisions and lay the important foundations.

Be intentional. Craft a life story that your older self will look back on with deep satisfaction, knowing you chose it, rather than drifted into it.

To be honest, the whole point of this website is to get you to realize that every day is a chance for a new start, no matter what your age. So don’t think you are too old or too entrenched in your ways.

You can make a change. So start today.